True relationship help comes from God's Word.

Marilyn Brown

By Marilyn L. Brown

In our first relationship help lesson, we went over the importance of words to a relationship. We emphasized God's Word and what He had to say about our words. In lesson two, we will study what the Bible has to say about the actions of a friend.


Relationship Advice #2: Be careful with your deeds.

In the Bible's relationship help, God cautions us of relationships to shun and to cherish. A friend’s attitude toward the opportunities and problems of life can tell a lot about her. Fake friends have character flaws. They don't try to correct them. True friends, although not perfect, are aware of their weaknesses and do try to fix any relationship problems.


Fake Friend

We should be wary of a fake friend. When life is frustrating she may lose control. When it may be to her personal benefit to take advantage of you, a fake friend will.

Proverbs 22:24
Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go:

When bad things happen (and they will) we want a friend with self control. Spending our time together cleaning up a situation that uncontrolled anger caused makes us feel needed, but as the damage control squad not a friend. And the dangerous part, what happens to us when we make that person angry?

Job 19:19
All my inward friends abhorred me: and they whom I loved are turned against me.

Psalm 41:9
Yea, mine own familiar friend, in whom I trusted, which did eat of my bread, hath lifted up his heel against me.

A fake friend will not be loyal when the bad times come. It hurts when difficulties come but fake friends make the difficulty more painful. Some fake friends desert us when problems come but even worse are those who turn against us then.

Judges 14:20
but Samson’s wife was given to his companion, whom he had used as his friend.

Samson made a mistake by trusting his new wife who was unworthy. When Samson was hurt by the outcome, he stormed out. Samson was used by a friend who took advantage of Samson’s weakness. Watch out for fake friends like this. She may use us if the opportunity occurs. This hurts. So avoid the pain, don’t make him a real friend.


True Friend

Now let's look at relationship help for the godly friend.

A relationship will be challenged during difficult times. A true friend will be dependable and lead you closer to God. She is a blessing.

Proverbs 22:11
He that loveth pureness of heart, for the grace of his lips the king shall be his friend.

A true friend will love a pure heart. She may not always behave perfectly (Who does, except Christ?) but her heart and motivations are pure—no hidden messages, motivations, or meanings. She will be able to speak with grace. She is a friend to covet.

Proverbs 27:10
Thine own friend, and thy father’s friend,forsake not; neither go into thy brother’s house in the day of thy calamity: for better is a neighbour that is near than a brother far off.

Proverbs 17:17
A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.

A true friend sticks by when leaving is easier. When the difficulties of life seem overwhelming a true friend will stay by your side. The Bible gives some examples of friends that showed up when the calamity came. The most well known are Job's friends.

Job 2:11
Now when Job’s three friends heard of all this evil that was come upon him, they came every one from his own place; Eliphaz the Temanite, and Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite: for they had made an appointment together to come to mourn with him and to comfort him.

A relationship will be affected by character. A Christ-like character blesses a relationship. A selfish character hurts others. What kind of character do you have? What kind of friend are you?

God’s Word should change not only our minds but also our actions. This is relationship help that every woman should heed.


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